Pants 0. Shit 1.
I skipped work to stalk him.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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