toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There's even glitter on my cock...
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