We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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