he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
