I'll bet she douches with gravy.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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