So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
