My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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