p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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