he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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