this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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