i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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