Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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