I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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