home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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