You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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