He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
