wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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