I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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