is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
