Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
