im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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