The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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