why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
