I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize