you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
