So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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