Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize