I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
