Your face is a jimmy john
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
