your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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