you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
