of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
