i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
