I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize