I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Life is so much better after having sex.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
