We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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