Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
