I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
