never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
