you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
