You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This baby is an asshole
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
