no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she peed on how many people?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
