I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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