there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
