Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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