census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
