thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
