I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
