I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
