just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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