Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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