dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
