The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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