I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
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Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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