Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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