I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
