Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
